This is the story of my quest to train my three Dales Ponies for classical dressage, primarily by using Alexandra Kurland's clicker training methods, with a touch of others such as Philippe Karl and Anja Beran thrown in. I turned to clicker training because I had come up against some issues that I didn't know how to fix and because I wanted to inspire them to become enthusiatic partners. Bella and Jack are all my own work and have never been ridden by anyone else.

Bella, Grace and Jack

Bella aged 6

Bella aged 6

Treat Delivery

Jack aged 7


Saturday, 21 March 2009

In Memory.

I don't know if I can continue this blog as my life has changed forever in the last week. My ponies still look the same but I no longer recognise myself from those photographs. I am so much older, sadder and wiser now, but I'm also a kinder, stronger, more sociable person too, than I was a few weeks ago.

I have moved mountains in the last fortnight and found that there is not much I can't make happen if I care enough and am motivated enough. Unfortunately the one thing that I wanted the most was impossible to achieve but it was never for want of trying.

I was lucky enough to be able to say, and to hear said, the things that many never have the chance to say before their journey together comes to an end, especially when it's been a long one.

I have been far more lucky for the last twenty eight years than I ever deserved and only realised it when it was nearly too late.

In memory of one of the kindest, sweetest, most generous and friendly people ever born. He had no idea how devastating the loss of his friendship would be to so many.


  1. Dear Helen,
    I have just read your moving and dignified message.

    Your David,sounded like such a lovely humorous, chap, a true countryman,and very grounded.The last thing he would want you to do,is to stop all that gives you joy,wherever that may take you.

    I am so glad you both had the opportunity to exchange those vital words it's so important to say them to one another.

    I am glad you have the knowledge of just how empowered you can be hang on to that it will see you through.

    Please stay in touch, when you feel able,and please e-mail me, if I can help in any way.You are in our thoughts.


  2. Dear Helen,
    I have read your inspiring blogs from the start and would just like to express my gratitude for them. You are a gifted communicator, with your beautiful ponies and with people. Maybe the day will come when you wish to use that gift again, I hope so. You have touched a lot of lives with your sharing.
    I feel so sad for you. I have my own David, married for 32 years and can only imagine your pain at your loss. You have been in my mind a lot, and prayers too. Grief takes a long time and is life changing as you observe.
    With kindest thoughts,

  3. Dear Helen,

    I am grateful that you took sometime for communicating with us. You have been in my thoughts and prayers.

    As Gill says, take your time. I truly hope that you will again share your intelligent and provocative thoughts on horse-training with us.

    But I am already truly grateful for your inpsiring blogs. There are a great testimony of the wonderful woman you are.

    All the best, my thoughst are with you. I know I will always remember you.

  4. Helen

    What a beautiful post and so moving - I can only begin to imagine your pain at losing such a wonderful, funny soulmate.

    You are an amazing person with great gifts. I hope you are able to continue at such a time as you feel it right. I can honestly say that your blog has inspired me when lost, made me laugh when I was low and motivate me when I felt lethargic.

    You have been in my thoughts, and will always be. I hope you stay in touch in your own time.

    All my best

  5. Helen,
    A very moving post, and such a loving description of your partner. I am so very sorry for you.



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I am a clicker training addict and there is no cure - thank goodness!!!